My unemployed friend criticizes my work
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends has been unemployed for almost a year and lives on unemployment benefit.
I casually complain to her about my job, and she will respond by saying that I am not paid enough and that she would never put herself in a position like mine. I’m annoyed because I’m sure if she had an opportunity to make money she would take it.
Do you think she’s talking about a place of jealousy?
– Bitter friend
DEAR BITTER FRIEND: It’s so easy to be critical of others. Your friend is proof of that. Is she jealous? Who knows. Of course, however, she judges.
If you step back for a moment, you will also be able to see that you can be a little callous in this situation as well. Your friend is unemployed. Your complaints about low wages might seem like luxury issues compared to hers right now.
On the contrary, however, due to the generous COVID-19 bonus that people received with their unemployment checks, some people who have lost their jobs in the past two years have actually ended up making more money from their unemployment checks. unemployment insurance than they would if they went. work. The intention of this boost was good, but unfortunately it caused many people not to return to work when the labor market opened up again.
As you can see, this discussion can be complicated. My recommendation is to stop talking about salary to this friend until she gets back on her feet. If you have a legitimate view that your pay is too low, talk to your boss about what it takes to get a raise.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a fairly small family. I am close to them, which is why it baffled me so much. My closest cousin in age invited me to her wedding and seated me at the worst table.
I was not sitting with any of my relatives or anyone I knew personally – she sat me at a table with six children under the age of 5. I was kicked in the shin all night.
I now take care of the seating arrangements for my own wedding. Would it be wrong to assign him to such an awful table?
– Siege of Vengeance
HEADQUARTERS DEAR REVENGE: Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could rise above this and be a better party planner than your cousin?
Rather than tormenting her on the same day, you might want to call her now. Tell her that you are working on your seating plan and that it reminded you of her wedding. Ask her why she chose to sit you at a table with any of your peers and instead with a group of young children. Find out what made him think it was a good idea. You can even ask her if she would like to sit at a table with her spouse and a bunch of kids at your wedding.
The stiff neck you would cause just by having this conversation is enough to get you revenge. Ultimately, you should sit your cousin somewhere where she and her spouse will have fun.
Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send your questions to [email protected] or c / o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.