Miss Manners: Casual Girlfriend Doesn’t Want Wedding Invitations | Lifestyles

Dear Mademoiselle Ways: I have a friend that I have known for a few years who has a vacation home near ours. I have never been to her house in a nearby town, but we socialize when they are at their house here. I would call it a laid back friendship.

Her granddaughter was getting married and I received an invitation to take a shower. I don’t know her granddaughter, or even the girl’s mother. I wasn’t sure what to do, but sent a small gift and that’s it.

Then I got an invitation to the wedding. I broached the subject with my friend and explained to her that it seemed embarrassing to me because I didn’t even know the parties involved. She said she wanted to include me because I was her friend.

Is it appropriate? I actually felt guilty for not sending a wedding gift and was a little irritated that I was put in such an awkward position, but my friend clearly sees it another way.

Time has passed and now I have received a “save the date” for the wedding of another grandchild! What do I do? I don’t want to upset my friend, but I don’t think I should be included in these events because I only have a tenuous relationship with the people involved.

I don’t want this to become a problem, but after learning how I felt the first time around, it doesn’t seem like she got the message. They’re rich people, so it’s probably not about freebies. She seems to see this as a sign of my loyalty to her.

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