Column: No gift too good for a beautiful bride

It’s always a joy to mark my wife’s birthday, but it never comes without a challenge.

This is because she finds it difficult to accept gifts that she considers extravagant.

But that doesn’t stop me.

So I’m going to look for some jewelry: a beautiful bracelet, maybe diamond earrings, maybe a gold necklace.

And then, on his birthday, I will present him eagerly.

She’s going to open it, let me know how beautiful it is, tear herself up a bit, give me a big kiss, then tell me we can’t afford it.

Besides, she insists that I return it.

So, reluctantly, I bring the jewelry back to the store and get my money back.

But even though I had to return it, the result is still a grateful wife who appreciates the generous efforts of her beloved husband, a man who believes that there is no gift too good for his beautiful wife.

All this limitless gratitude, support and admiration at no cost.

I have a friend who, like me, also buys expensive jewelry for his wife. The difference is, she keeps it.

Some people find joy in physical adornments while others rise above these earthly indulgences and understand what is really important in life.

I’m not suggesting my wife only return big ticket items. Sometimes it’s just a matter of not meeting their demanding tastes. Like when I tried to pick a gift from that list of recommendations in the recent Union-Tribune story titled “End of Summer Checklist”.

It included suggestions like a day at the stadium, a wine tasting, a Shell concert or swimming with the sharks.

This shark idea caught my eye because it included an aerial photo of the crystal clear sea of ​​La Jolla filled with 70 sharks (I counted them).

The option was to kayak above them or go snorkeling with them. I chose the latter, knowing that it would make a unique and memorable gift. Unfortunately, she got a little dizzy just reading the map.

So she asked me to return it, just as I returned the skydiving lessons that I bought for her last year.

So, no, it’s not always the cost that negates a gift, but personal preference.

Some may question my motives, suggesting that I intentionally buy gifts that I know she will reject. But should I be held responsible for his curious preferences? Besides, it is the thought that counts, and there is no doubt about my generous and sincere thoughts.

Moreover, a valuable consequence of the return of these expensive gifts is a safeguard of the financial health of the family, an effort which they fully support.

Yet there is a small part of me that suffers a little bit of grief every time a gift is canceled.

Make no mistake, there are a lot of offers she’s happy to hang on to.

Like this box of chocolates.

It was a saving gift that I presented to her about the possibility that she would reject the swim shark. Last year it was the peanut break that served as a relief gift in case she chose not to jump out of a plane.

“Take chocolate,” she generously offers. I would refuse it, but no one knows better than I the pain that can endure when a gift is refused.

Contact humorous columnist Irv Erdos at [email protected]

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